What's an angel like you ever do with a devil like me?

The end of this school year (my junior year of college, for those who can't keep up) has reminded me just how introverted I am. Friendships I thought were lost have suddenly grown back due to some much needed one-on-one time, and friendships I never thought I'd have blossomed quietly. I'm still the quiet girl in the background, but I've learned (at least a little) to be okay with being a wallflower. Having just re-read The Perks of Being a Wallflower for the millionth time since jolsby gave it to me freshman year for Christmas [when we were not on speaking terms], I know that there are many blessings to being the observer. I just need to learn to participate in my own life a little bit.
I'm so sick of sitting around and waiting for things to happen. While my current frustration is romantic in nature, I've come to realize that if I had just spoken up about a couple of different issues this past year, things would have turned out much better. I don't think I'll ever be able to speak up about how much it bugs me to be the 'ugly' girl of the group, but that is mostly because none of the girls would ever agree with me. Being as close as I am with so very many guys, it is something I've come to accept about myself. I would never trade what I do have - incredible friendships - for what I've seen so many of my beautiful friends go through. While I wish desperately at times to be loved and cherished, I know that there are more important things, like God's love for me and the fact that I am finally at least a little bit proud of who I am.
My new room is really cold, mostly because it is in the basement. Maybe also because we haven't figured out how to turn the heat on yet. I'm loving having my own room, and living in a house, but I don't spend much time here since I'm working so much and always seem to end up at Caitlin and Dana's house. I definitely need to spend some quality time just relaxing in my room (and maybe finishing the organizing). The worst part of this summer (that I can foresee) is my current utter lack of guy friends. As a girl who spends most of her time playing with the boys (...forgive me, I just watched Top Gun for the first time...), trying to survive without any male presence other than a few of the staff at work is awful. I love the girls to death, but there is really no one I can be nerdy around now, let alone someone that can read my mind the way so many of my guy friends have learned. I really, truly miss having nerdy conversations and learning nerdy things because all of my guy friends are nerdier than me (except Kurt). I'm literally counting the days until Preston comes to see KISS because it means I get to have a guy friend for a few short hours.
Speaking of Preston, I'm going to see Motley Crue (with Poison and the New York Dolls) in August with him and Reid. It will be so incredibly epic. Thank you, God, for friends like those two.