Right Here

I don't know if I'm ready
or if I'm only stalling
I don't know what to do
I'm so scared
I'm afraid

That I'll be the one
To love you or to hurt you
And that I'll be done
Before I can tell you
That I don't know where I'm going
But I'm thinking that you should be
Right here with me

I don't know how to tell you
That I think I'm falling
I don't know what to do
I'm so happy
I'm afraid

That I'll be the one
To love you or to hurt you
And that I'll be done
Before I can tell you
That I don't know where I'm going
But I'm thinking that you should be
Right here with me

I want you here beside me
I need to hear you love me
I don't want to hurt you
But I don't know how
& I'm afraid

That I'll be the one
To love you or to hurt you
And that I'll be done
Before I can tell you
That I don't know where I'm going
But I'm thinking that you should be
Right here with me

_______________________________________

Those are the lyrics to that song I said I wrote. It has a tune, as well, but I can't really write that down. I've got it in my head, though. ^-^ I don't know where it came from, honestly, but all of a sudden there was a song writing itself in my head. The bridge is still wonky, but its growing on me and might not change anymore. If you would like to hear it, let me know. I can sing it for you...if my nerves don't get the better of me.

For he was famous long ago for playing the electric violin on desolation row...

I kind of sort of almost DIED of happiness last night. Watchmen was appropriately epic, and one of the best adaptations I've ever seen. Quite possibly THE best comic book/graphic novel adaptation ever. Rorschach was incredible. Dr. Manhattan was PERFECT. Laurie was bitchy but loveable. Sally really does love The Comedian, who was slimy and gross. Ozymandias was the image of cheap, sleazy buttface who happens to be a genius. Nite Owl II was adorable, and Hollis was such a cute old guy. ^-^

Zack Snyder's stereotypical sporadic slow motion moments during the fight scenes came off much less cheesy than they did in 300. The sex scene was drawn out WAY too much - half a panel does not translate to five minutes - but the Silk Spectre I/Comedian incident was perfect. I'm really happy with the way they showed the history of the Minutemen/Watchmen, and glad that they pointed out the comic boy even if we didn't get the comic-within-a-comic in the movie.

I am saddened by the lack of squid, however. The alternative ending was well-done and made much more sense as an ending. However, it lost some of the gritty feel because things wrapped up a little. Heehee, I love that Silk Spectre I flirts with Nite Owl II even though he's dating her daughter. ;D I also love my amazing friends that didn't kill me for giggling my way through the movie.

Whoever sang Hallelujah in that movie was creepy as hell, though. I really disliked that version of the song. The rest of the soundtrack was divine. ^-^ I especially loved the cover of Desolation Row that played during the credits.

I'm going to stop squealing about this amazingness and take bio notes now. =D

AAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay.
Now that that's done.
I was accepted into the Jan Term program for next year.
British Culture Through Theatre and Music in LONDON.
I'm kind of FREAKING OUT.
OH MY GOSH. EGJNAIEFARNKGFAE.
My brain does not want to work because I am so happy.
I have a photosynthesis worksheet due tomorrow in biology and I can't concentrate because I am SO freaking happy.
Go me.
Also, this means I will actually meet the head of the theatre department because he's one of the professors for the trip. The other one is Debbie Hansen, from the music department. ^-^

I've been looking through the pictures from the last trip - mostly Rachel's and Ben's, because I don't know who else went - and I'm so stoked.
Trip of a lifetime.
Now for the money part.
Crap.

I know I should go, but I follow you like a man possesed.

There's a traitor here, beneath my breast, and it hurts me more than you've ever guessed. If my heart could beat, it would break my chest, but I can see you're unimpressed.

I made a mix cd for a friend this week. I can't stop listening to it the playlist now. It's one of those playlists that I could not play for many of my friends - the swearing in songs nine and fifteen put off most of them - but I really like it. It flows really well, I think...and something about it is just right.

1. Good Riddance (Time of Your Life) - Green Day
2. Faust Arp - radiohead
3. Headlock - Imogen Heap
4. How Many Kings - downhere
5. We're So Far Away - Mae
6. But It's Better If You Do - Panic! At the Disco
7. Here Comes The Sun - Beatles
8. Marvelous - Hillcrest Road
9. L. G. FUAD - Motion City Soundtrack
10. Your New Twin Size Bed - Death Cab for Cutie
11. What's My Age Again? - Blink-182
12. World Spins Madly On - The Weepies
13. Rest In Peace - James Marsters
14. Holding Out For A Hero - Frou Frou
15. Blankest Year - Nada Surf

Today is dry tech for Museum. I'm actually excited for tech. I miss my theatre. Speaking of which, I had an audition yesterday and although I didn't get a part, I had a BLAST auditioning. I can't Charleston for crap, though. ;D I'm about to run out the door to tech, actually. I'm working as a dresser and a docent.

Happiness Level: EXCELLENT. This week has been hard but good. My friends have been fighting a lot - apparently having a group of guy friends and a group of girl friends doesn't work for the girls - but I've just had a lot of fun. I <3 my Tiki, after all. Amazingly enough, they also have no problem with my referring to them as my Tiki. Although one of them might be more mine than the rest...but we'll see what happens there. The rest of my Tiki wants it to happen, and I know how I feel, I just don't know how he feels. I think my Tiki is more anxious about it than I am. It's very weird to have a whole dorm involved in your life. Well, half of the dorm. Whatever.

Oh, let's make this last forever, screaming hallelujah...

I learned how to play Halo tonight. =D It was so much fun. I really really like hanging out in Tiki with Charlie Brown, Jonathan, Kyle, Josh, Blake, Jordan, and everyone. Today was just a really really good day. I had a lot of fun, and was really happy all day.

I woke up at 11:30, went to lunch, did my homework in the library until dinner at six-ish. I went to dinner with Charlie Brown and Jonathan, and we had a very fun conversation. We headed back towards the BJ/Tiki area, and Charlie Brown went off to have a smoke, and I realized I'd left my bag back in Saga. Oops. Jonathan offered to escort me back to the HUB, and I gladly accepted. We walked back, grabbed my bag, and headed back towards the dorms. I ended up in Tiki playing Halo with Jonathan. Well, playing isn't really the word. Trying to learn, very very slowly. Then the rest of Tiki dragged us downstairs to play Halo with a big group. I failed miserably, was made fun of quite a lot, and had a lot of fun. =]

Also, I sang Right Here for Charlie Brown and he likes it a lot. I'm so proud of that little song. Aaaaand, suprise of all suprises, its a happy song. Yes, I can write happy things. ^-^ I'm still iffy about the bridge, but its fun. and it makes me happy. and i like being happy. and I'm going to bed because I have class tomorrow.

I don't know where I'm going, but I think you should be right here with me.

I may have...possibly...maybe...written a song. Only I don't speak music. crap. I recorded on my laptop so that I could remember the tune. I'm kind of really proud of it - although its not quite done yet - and so I thought I'd announce it here.

It's called Right Here.

I really like it. The bridge needs some work, because it sounds funky. My mic is having severe issues with this strange whistle noise that it picks up no matter what I do...but I figured out how to get rid of it - oh, how I <3 Audacity - so its not as noticeable anymore. Just the rare squeak once or twice.

I still haven't figured out my monologues yet. I know that I want to do Pauline Barrett's monologue from Spoon River Anthology, but I have no clue what my contrasting piece will be. EEEEEEK.

You look so defeated lying there in your new twin size bed.

Humanity is kind of retarded. Why?

We're hypocritical, parasitic, filthy creatures. Somehow all of the crap we do is balanced out by rather amazing things... but we fight and complain and don't try to simply fix things when we noticed them. We are so blinded by our own depravity, and yet something in each of us pulls us past that to find the beauty in at least one other person.

I don't get it.

On a side note, I'm thinking more and more that I might go set up an appointment with one of the psychologists. We get six free visits a year, and I think that maybe talking might be good for me. Figure a few more things out.

I'm waiting desperately for my small group to start back up. I miss them so much. One of our leaders transferred to Eastern, and Matt is not taking the Small Group Leader class, so he isn't an official leader anymore. We're trying to figure out if we want a new leader, or to have one of us take the class, or just to meet as a group of friends. I don't care. I just want to see everyone and talk and have something make perfect sense for once.

I'm just sort of rambling along. Intro to Theatre isn't quite as boring as I thought it would be. We are reading some interesting plays and discussing the whole "Christian - Theatre" relationship and what that means. We're reading Deep River in Core right now and I can't decide if I love it, hate it, or something in between. There was talk of sweet potatoes, though, so that much is good. ^_^